Heartbreak

I can't find my Canon Camcorder anywhere.  The last place I had it was on Friday night at Emerson's dance recital dress rehearsal, and I literally didn't even think about it again until this morning.  My guess is that I left it in the Jenks PAC auditorium, and between the three recitals they held on Saturday, the seniors' baccalaureate on Sunday, and all-day movies shown today, I'm so afraid it's long gone.  I know all of the events held there because I spent most of the day today on the phone trying to track it down.  I even had GiGi and SueSue come over while the kids were napping so I could go search the auditorium myself.  Just to know for sure it wasn't in there.  I was literally on my face on the floor looking under the rows of seats.  You may be wondering why I am so distraught over all of this... WELL, I had about 80 videos on there that I hadn't downloaded to Vimeo yet.  These videos date back to January.  Yep, my baby's birth is on there, Jax and Emerson meeting Hayden for the first time, Jax's 2nd birthday... the heartbreaking list goes on and on.  There have been many tears today.  I'm trying not to think about it, just in case someone picked it up and just hasn't had a chance to turn it in to the school or to the dance studio.  It was such an incredible (and incredibly expensive) gift from my husband two Christmases ago, and I've treasured it each time I've used it.  Jason surprised us by coming home early tonight and meeting me at the door with a long, long hug.  All the while two little munchkins were tugging at his pantlegs trying to get in on the action, but he didn't let go and I felt good for the first time all day.

I had plans to post about Emerson's dance recital, but it'll be a few days.  I'm gonna do my best not to think about the fact that I have no videos of my baby girl.  No, I take that back.  I have the one of her giggling for the first time that I posted here.  I guess one is better than none!  I'm going to keep hoping for the best, but I think my heart has already accepted the worst.