I'm Gonna DO IT.

Today's the day.  I am beginning the climb toward getting my body back. 

I have lost all 40 pounds that I put on with pregnancy, plus 3 more.  The thing is, those 43 have come off without my intentional focus and with no exercise.  So now I have to actually work at it.  Bummer. 

This morning Jason and I got up at 5 a.m. and started P90X.  We did the Chest & Back DVD, and those push-ups and pull-ups kicked my rear.  I only gave about 70% effort... I know better than to push myself to the max and risk a reduction in my milk supply.  I'm also going to have to make sure I eat enough during the day, which is sometimes hard to do.

This is a heartfelt farewell to the old me, the heavy and flabby version of myself that I've known for way too long now.  I have no unrealistic goals for my new self... I have no doubt that my boobs will never be their perky selves again and that my leftover baby belly will never morph into the flat, washboard stomach I once had.  With this I have made peace.  Perky ta-tas and a six-pack mean nothing compared to the three people I brought into this world and fed for their first year of life. 

What I haven't made peace with is the 20 pounds I now face.  The 20 pounds that stand between me and the weight at which I feel like myself.  The 20 pounds that stand between me and my favorite pair of jeans that have been hanging in my closet for years now, staring me in the face and mocking me each time I look at them.  I refuse to stay at this weight and become one of those women who are in their 40s or 50s, blaming their weight on their children.  I mean, come on. 

My plan is simple: eat well and exercise.  Isn't it amazing that that's all it really takes?  For any of us? 

I simply want to look and feel my best, and I know myself well enough to know I can't do that at this weight.  Call it vanity, call it pride, but I'm better than this. 

So here's to a new beginning, a reclaiming of my thinner self. 

Watch out, jeans.  Here I come. 
  

Scenes from lunchtime

Lunchtime is always fun around here.  It usually begins with Emerson asking, at around 11:15, "Mommy?  What are we having for lunch?"  Jax then pipes in, "Mommy, what we haffing for yunch?"  I pretty much always answer, "I'm not sure yet.  We'll have to see."  Then begins my magician-like production of some sort of a healthy lunch concocted from all sorts of odds and ends in the fridge and pantry.  I used to be so good about meal planning my kids' lunches, but that has all fallen by the wayside since Hayden was born.  I have a feeling I'll get back to it, but I'm giving myself grace right now.

I think the fact that it's summer has a lot to do with it, too.  I'm grilling lean cuts of meat for most of our dinners, so I don't have any casserole leftovers for lunches.  So, most days it's a sandwich of some sort, a veggie, and a fruit.  Exciting!  I'm guessing Emerson asks what's on the menu each day with a secret hope that one of these days I'll once again produce some thrilling lunch fare.  Perhaps when the weather cools off...

Here they are proudly showing me the peanut butter they dip their celery in.  Technically, Jax doesn't actually have any peanut butter on his finger, but that doesn't stop him from getting in on the fun.

And here's Baby Hane getting in on the fun as well.  She's strong enough to start using the booster/activity thingy, and she's having a blast being eye level with her siblings.  This smile of hers ranks pretty high on my joy meter as of late.  It's the same smile she gives right before her best giggles spring forth. 

And one last picture... I found a recipe online for some healthy popsicles a few weeks ago and made them with Emerson and Jax.  All you do is cut a banana in half vertically and put a popsicle/craft stick in each half.  Then dip the banana in yogurt (I buy plain yogurt from Aldi and blend with strawberries and honey) and roll in Cheerios.  I froze them for a few hours and they turned out great.  Yummy, healthy, summertime snack!   

Houston & Father's Day Recap

Houston was fabulous!  Well, almost.  Hayden experienced teething at its worst all weekend long, so she cried quite a bit, even with Orajel and an occasional dose of Tylenol in her system.  Poor baby.  But the flights weren't too bad, and hanging with Lisa for 48 hours was so much fun! 

We spent time shopping at a great mall, found a Sephora (a tradition we always stick to), hung out at her house, went to Ikea (my first time), picked up her new Ford Edge (gorgeous!), snuck in a few Sonic drinks, and ate at the best Mexican restaurant I've ever been to.  Hands down.  We had beef fajitas that were sent straight from heaven.  Oh wow, I'm still thinking about the fajitas.  I have inserted a picture of them below, mainly so that I can come back to this post from time to time and relive their deliciousness in my mind. 

Dida, thank you for letting us come see you!  I miss you dearly, but this will get me through until the next time you come to T-Town. 

We had a great Father's Day at our house yesterday.  Emerson and Jax woke Daddy up with his Father's Day card and some sweet kisses.  After church and lunch, the kids napped while Jason lounged on the couch watching the U.S. Open (I was excited to see Rory McIlroy win, by the way... only 22 years old... it was precious to watch footage of him and his Dad, and it's nice to root for an up-and-comer now that Tiger's off my radar). 

I snuck out to pick up some groceries for a dessert and wash and vacuum Jason's car.  Since I got home Saturday evening from Houston, I didn't have time to marinate my own ribs, so I picked up Rib Crib ribs on the way home, and Pa-Pa, MeMaw and Uncle Trav joined us for dinner.  We sat and watched the kids play in their new Lightning McQueen sprinkler, courtesy of Uncle Trav.  It's funny how entertaining it is just to sit on the porch and watch children play.  I guess it's the unpredictability of what they're going to say or do.

Here are some pictures from the day.  Emerson and I took silly pictures of ourselves, Daddy got some snuggle time in with his girls, and he posed with his Father's Day ties the kids made him at church. 

At lunch, I thought it would be fun to ask Emerson and Jax why they love Daddy on Father's Day.  Emerson replied, "He's so handsome."  Jax replied, "Why???"

I asked again and Emerson answered, "Because I love to take care of him."  Jax answered, "Because I said so." 
Happy Father's Day to the head of our household, the fierce protector of his babies, the man who loves with everything in him.

Houston, Here I Come

Technically, it's Houston, here WE come.  Tomorrow Hayden and I are getting on a plane to go see my friend Lisa.  I canNOT even begin to tell you how excited I am!  It's been over a year since she moved away, and this will be the first time I have had the chance to see her new digs.  Talking to her today, we realized it will also be the one and only trip that I have to make with a child.  Until Emerson's old enough for a fun girls' weekend, of course.  Jason's staying home Friday to full-time-Daddy it with Em and Jax.  They are going to have the best weekend with him.

In unrelated news, we had Hayden's 4-month photo session today in Owasso.  We went to our photographer's parents' home, and they have a gorgeous outdoor patio area where she shot most of the pictures.  We had Hayden on her belly on the sidewalk on a beautiful little vintage blanket, and that little toot rolled over for the first time.  It was so fun to experience it right there with Daddy!  It seems like most of those milestones are usually Mommy-only gifts that happen while daddies are at work.  The session went really well despite Hayden's occasional crying from her pre-teething.  That girl has been pre-teething for almost six weeks now, and I'm dying for those little teeth to pop out already.  I know she'll have immediate relief and be back to her happy little self. 

Happy early weekend... happy early Father's Day! 

 

4-month comparisons

Pics of all three at four months old, Emerson first. I'm always amazed when I look back at pictures of Jax.  The sheer size of that boy... his rolls were amazing.  His michelin man arms don't even look natural in this picture.  I mean, you can't even see an elbow through all the chubbiness. 

Poop on Day 4!

Jax went #2 in the potty this morning.  It's funny that parents can get so excited over a pile of human waste, but I know all you other parents out there can relate.  I even took a picture and texted it to Daddy.  He immediately called to talk to Jax and praise his little pants off.

He tinkled in the potty more than he wet his underwear today, so we're definitely making progress!

I'm ready to blog about something other than tinkle and poop, but this is seriously all I think about and deal with all day long.  There's really no new exciting material to be shared with you all. 

Actually, I did think of something today that I forgot to blog about.  On Mother's Day, Emerson woke me up holding a new HD camcorder.  Daddy had agreed that we weren't doing Mother's/Father's Day gifts this year, but he didn't stick to the rules.  I cried like a baby.  I have enjoyed taking videos of my babes once again.  Love you, sweet boy.

Early success...

Day 3 of potty training... Jax tinkled 5 times in the potty today!  He probably tinkled in his underwear at least that many times, but I'm thrilled that he finally 'gets it.'  Part of what helped him today was me stepping out of the bathroom to give him a little privacy.  Imagine that, a son not wanting his overbearing mother staring at him while he relieves himself.  It was so cute to stand just outside the bathroom door and hear him grunt to get his tinkle out. 

After naptime, he started losing his positive attitude just a wee bit.  I would take him to his potty chair, sit him down on it, and say, "Okay, Jaxey.  Now it's time for you to go tinkle and poo-poo."  He starting saying "nev-uh, nope, nope!" with his hand straight out, shaking his head violently back and forth until he made himself laugh.  Is there such thing as being potty-drunk? 

Now I'm just ready for the poop to go in the toilet.  I know this is gross, but I have a spoon in the laundry room sink that I use to remove the poop from the underwear before I soak them in Oxyclean before they go in the wash.  I promise you that spoon is going in the trash when this is all said and done.  It's a cheap serving spoon I had back in my apartment days... I didn't want to be tempted to put a good spoon back in the rotation, if you know what I mean.  Just kidding. 

GiGi and SueSue saved the day yesterday.  They came by with four packs of training underwear because Jax was going through all of the underwear I had borrowed from Cristin by noon. 

Jax's reward for going in the potty is a big spoonful of peanut butter (no, not the poop spoon), and Emerson asked if she could be the one who scoops the peanut butter out and gives it to him.  It cracks me up that she wants in on the action and the recognition.

I'm feeling cautiously optimistic that he'll keep it up from here, that there will be no regression and that he'll never look back.  The thought of just having one child in diapers makes me giddy! 

Oh yeah, and just so you know what I deal with on a daily basis.  At lunch today...

Jax:  "Mommy, please get off that chair."

Me: "Why?"

Jax:  "Because I said so."

Deals, Pottying & More Ballet Pics

I'm officially in.  I've always been one of those 'kinda' couponers, but last month my friend Heidi in Tampa sent me the book "Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey."  It was as if a ray of light shone down from the heavens and everything finally clicked.  It's not like couponing is difficult, it's just a lot to organize, and my brain is always so fried by the end of the day, I just figured I'd never be able to go all in.  But I bought a binder with divider tabs and baseball card inserts.  I also started buying the newspaper on Sunday mornings at our QT on the corner.  And I'm proud to say that from May 15th to May 31st, by using coupons, price-matching from the circulars, and matching coupons with sales (especially at Walgreens and CVS), I saved $125.52!  In 15 days!  I have a spreadsheet I save on my desktop and update after each shopping trip.  I cannot WAIT to see what my savings are at the end of a year.  I'll keep you posted!  Here's a picture of my handy-dandy binder. 

Somewhere in Tennessee, my sister-in-law is doing a happy dance.  She's been shopping this way forever, and I know she's proud that I jumped in head-first!

So on to our big project that started today.  I am potty training Jax.  Score as of naptime just a few minutes ago?  Jax = 7 tinkles & 1 poop in his underwear.  Mommy = 0.  Hoping for a turnaround later today or even tomorrow.  Not surprisingly, he took the lead early in the day with two of his points coming while I was sidelined with Hayden.  That's right... benched with a breastfeeder.  Totally unfair!

Here he is, looking so cute today with his bwoo bwankie in one hand, a car in the other, and training underpants right below some serious belly overhang.  Thank you, Cristin, for loaning them to me.  Every time I put a new pair on Jax, he says, "Are these Harrison's underwear?" 

Finally, my friend Kara just sent me these pictures of Emerson from the recital.  They are so good!  She has the most amazing camera... thank you, Kara!  The ones I attempted from the audience were lousy.  I guess the whole 'zoom lens' thing is important, huh?

Anniversary

Our 9-year anniversary today started off a little crazy at 3 a.m.  Hayden woke up, and on my way to check on her, I nearly tripped over Jax who was sound asleep next to my bed.  Why or when he decided to get out of his bed, come downstairs and curl up on our floor, I'll never know.  Anyway, I didn't want Hayden to continue to cry and wake Daddy up, so I knew I needed to get to her quickly.  I put Jax in bed and walked into the nursery to see Hayden's arm stuck in between the crib slats.  I decided to do a quick nurse and put her back to bed.  I assumed Jaxey would be sprawled on my side of the bed when I returned, but that boy was snuggled up to his daddy's back, sound asleep.  He got to finish the rest of the night out in between us.  Shhh... don't tell Emerson.

Jason went to OKC this morning and came home mid-afternoon.  We had reservations at Mahogany Prime Steakhouse, the best steak in Tulsa by my estimates, and laughed our butts off when we pulled into the parking lot and were the only patrons there.  Why, you ask?  Because it was 5 p.m. ON THE DOT.  Yes, we had to make reservations at 5 in order to be back home by 7:30 so I could nurse little H.  With the other two, I would've just left a bottle with the babysitter, but Miss Persnickety thinks it's fun to not take a bottle.  At all. 

During dinner I kept thinking, 'Wow, this will be the last year I have to rush home from anniversary dinner to nurse... and the last year I won't be able to drink a glass of wine... and so on.'  Of course, Jason thinks it's really hilarious to talk about how great a fourth Van Valkenburg child would be.  Then I remind him what life was like during this last pregnancy and he gets quiet. 

Dinner itself was marvelous, and getting a chance to talk uninterrupted with my incredible husband was so refreshing.  I dearly love that man of mine.  Nine years after walking down the aisle to him, there's no one else I'd rather be sharing this journey with.  We laughed/cringed/marveled at the stress and chaos we've gone through since January and concluded that most people would've crumbled.  I know I would've crumbled without him.  He's my rock.  He's the fearless leader of our family, the reason two little sets of feet run as fast as they can to the front door around 6 p.m. every day, the elicitor of full-face grins and giggles from our baby, the source of my daily dose of laughter.

Happy Anniversary, Jason.  I adore you and always will.