Crying at the Doctor's Office

Tuesday was brutal.  I went for Hayden's 2-week checkup at her pediatrician's office, full expecting her to be back to her birth weight.  When the nurse put her on the scale and it said 7 lbs, 12 ozs (she was 8 lbs, 3 oz at birth), I just lost it.  Even though she had gained weight from the previous week, it startled me to see that she was under 8 pounds, and I immediately starting thinking the worst.  The nurse gave me a hug because she could see it was one of those cries that wasn't going to end anytime soon.  About ten minutes later when Dr. B came in the room, I was still bawling.  Thankfully she reassured me that since H was gaining an ounce a day, there wasn't any reason to change what I was doing.  She said because of her jaundice a few days after birth, she just lost her weight quickly and was slowly making her way back.  I was glad to hear I didn't have to start supplementing with formula, but my sleep-deprived, hormone-out-of-whack self couldn't stop feeling like I was failing my baby.  It was the worst feeling ever, and it was embarrassing to be such an emotional wreck. 

Needless to say, I'm pumping two out of three feedings for her, just to make sure she's gaining enough weight this next week.  She's definitely not a great eater like my other two.  She'll latch on for a minute or so, then pull off to look around.  I think once she's back to her birth weight, I'm gonna go on a boob-only mission for a day or two and force this child to become a better eater.